As human beings, we naturally know how to set boundaries. You may even have boundaries now and you don’t even realise it. They create a unique space called the “comfort zone” which is basically your happy place. If anything threatens this like being forced to eat something you don’t like, people entering your personal space or when you read a book that goes against your morals then you may feel uncomfortable.
So, how do you consciously set boundaries? Well, there are many ways to set boundaries depending on the situation. It is also essential to know why boundaries are important and how they will benefit you. This will enable you to navigate anything life throws at you while ensuring your comfort zone stays intact the way you like it!
Why are boundaries important?
Boundaries are important for sooo many reasons and if you don’t realise that then you are in big trouble. Firstly, they help establish and maintain healthy relationships both at home and at work. By setting clear boundaries you can communicate your needs, expectations and limits to others around you. If they are people that are willing to listen then this helps foster mutual respect and understanding. If they don’t want to listen then you need to consider setting boundaries you can control, like whether you should be around that person or not. Boundaries also prevent infringement on your personal space and privacy, especially at the workplace. This allows you to feel safe and secure in your interactions with others at the workplace, with customers or even at home.
Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining your physical, mental and emotional well-being. It enables you to prioritize your own self-care while helping you to avoid overextending yourself and becoming a “YES MAN”. When you bend to the will of others all the time you leave yourself open to more and more being lumped on your plate. This can lead to increased stress and possibly burning yourself out while others are sipping wine at your expense. By clearly stating where you stand and what your boundaries are you can protect yourself and create a healthy work-life balance.
The effect boundaries have on your personality
Boundaries are extremely personal and, therefore, can be attributed to personal growth and development as well as your personal identity. By knowing how to set boundaries you assert your values, beliefs and morals. This helps others form a picture of your identity and your personality. If you have a strong personality and stick to your guns others are more likely to respect you than if you always seem confused and look to others for guidance on what you should do. In this case, staying true to yourself and your goals will allow you more self-confidence and opportunities in work and life. This will also allow you to avoid being manipulated by others and allowing them to make decisions that align with their own desires by using you as a stepping stone.
5 tips on how to set boundaries effectively
It can be easy to set boundaries subconsciously when it comes to the simple things but what if you need to stand up for yourself? Conflict can be hard to confront for many people. The alternative, however, can be even worse and will make you miserable. So, here are some tips on how to set boundaries effectively so you can get one step closer to achieving that work life balance you sorely need.
1. Clearly identify your needs and limits
Only you know what you need and what you don’t! Taking the time to reflect on your personal values and what you are comfortable with is essential. This self-awareness will help you establish clear boundaries that align with your physical, emotional and mental wellbeing.
This is especially important for those that are suffering from anxiety or depression. One of the ways you can cope is by making changes to your situation and setting boundaries that will help you heal. If you don’t change your boundaries to improve the situation then you will just keep running through the same cycle.
2. Communicate assertively
Being assertive is not the same as being aggressive. Aggression comes from a place of anger whereas assertiveness comes from a place of confidence. Just because you stand up for yourself in a firm but respectful manner doesn’t mean you are being aggressive, no matter what anyone tells you! If they are offended by the fact that you are saying no to them, then that’s tough.
In saying this, it is important to clearly and respectfully communicate your boundaries to others. Use “I” statements to express your needs and expectations but also be firm in your communication. Practice saying no when necessary and avoid over-explaining. You do not need to justify yourself!
3. Be consistent
Consistency is key when it comes to setting boundaries. You need to stick to your guns and be an unwavering force of nature when it comes to your needs. Just because they keep asking or keep pestering you does not mean you should yield. If you do then they get what they want and it costs you more than its worth, including your dignity!
However, this does not mean you have to be rude or unhelpful. If you have the time it doesn’t hurt to help someone out who genuinely needs it but make sure you stick to your established limits and enforce them when necessary. This will help others understand and respect your boundaries over time.
4. Practice self-care
Setting your personal boundaries also means prioritizing your own self-care. Take the time to recharge and engage in activities that bring you joy. If you feel like you don’t have the time, then make the time! That is you setting a boundary for yourself. If your work doesn’t let you take the time, then maybe you need to change your situation. If your family won’t leave you alone and you do everything for them, maybe you need to get them to help you.
This allows you to establish healthy routines at work and at home, creating work life harmony. Then by allowing time to take care of yourself you’ll have the energy to keep working productively and spend time with your family. You will also have the resilience to maintain your boundaries in both your professional and personal life.
5. Seek support on how to set boundaries
Sometimes it can be hard to know how to set boundaries, let alone what boundaries you should set. In this instance, it is not shameful to ask for help, as long as you ask the right people. Trusted friends and family can be a great source of advice for teaching you how to set boundaries. They have your best interests at heart and can help clearly explain what you need to do.
If you are struggling with mental health or other circumstances where you feel you can’t talk to your family then professional advice can be just as good. You can speak to your doctor, your psychiatrist or another professional that can help with specific boundaries you are struggling with. They can provide guidance and encouragement while helping you to navigate the difficult situation you are in.
The benefits of setting healthy boundaries for your improved wellbeing
There is more pressure in having to put up with the constant demands of others than looking after yourself. Boundaries create many benefits for you personally and though it may seem selfish, it is not! This is because healthy boundaries allow you more balance in your working life and your home life. This ultimately leads to better mental health and emotional wellbeing.
When you know how to set boundaries it becomes easier to recognise the benefits which include the following:
Improved relationships
Knowing how to set boundaries in a relationship is important whether it is a working relationship or a personal connection. By establishing your boundaries at the start of a relationship you are clearly communicating what you want to get out of it as well as your expectations and limits. This then promotes healthier and more respectful interactions with the other person.
More opportunities for self-care
If you are not well enough to help yourself then you shouldn’t be helping others. Setting boundaries for your own mental health, physical state and emotional well-being is extremely important. It allows you to avoid overextending yourself and causing unwanted stress which, if suffered constantly, can lead to health problems down the road. On the other hand setting boundaries can allow more time for you to have “me time” and relax while doing the things you enjoy!
Increased personal growth
When you are learning about how to set boundaries you are taking a path of self-discovery. Our personal boundaries are linked to our values, beliefs and goals. If you find that certain new beliefs and values resonate with you and you stand your ground because of them then you have unlocked a new form of personal growth! This can lead to you being more confident in yourself and others having more respect for the person you have become.
Reduced stress and burnout
Doing something that you feel uncomfortable with can lead to stress. Putting up with it constantly can lead to having a burnout, anxiety or depression. By setting healthy boundaries and limiting your time to do another person’s task you are protecting your mental wellbeing and health overall. Boundaries allow you to keep your precious time and energy to yourself so you can maintain that healthy work-life balance that you cherish.
Enhanced decision-making
Finding out that you are being manipulated puts a special kind of dagger in your back. Yet some still put up with it because they don’t know how to set boundaries. The great thing about setting those boundaries is that they empower you to make informed decisions that align with your own needs and desires. As they say, knowledge is power and it pays to know what you want!
Improved communication
Communication is key to any workplace relationship or personal one. Boundaries set the tone and encourages those involved to be open and honest with their expectations, needs and even their concerns. Sometimes disputes come up but by reinforcing your boundaries and communicating this to the other person you can get back to being on the same page. In the long run, this enables you to work better with others and enjoy a happier lifestyle with your partner or friends.
Preservation of personal space and privacy
Your boundaries can be anything from your beliefs to how close someone can stand to you. Physical boundaries are just as important as any others. It’s your body after all! Creating physical boundaries whether at work or at home is essential for your physical and mental wellbeing. Ensuring you have control over your personal space gives you a sense of safety and security in your body as well as your mind.
Increased self-esteem and self-confidence
Boundaries are very personal and give you a sense of your identity. The better you know something, the more confident you are about it. Therefore, if you know more about yourself you will have more self-confidence. Setting and maintaining boundaries reinforces your sense of self-worth and self-respect. This is important for those with self-doubt or anxiety as it improves your self-esteem and confidence in your abilities.
Prevention of resentment and conflict
With a lack of communication there can be misunderstandings and conflicts within the workplace or at home. It can also be stressful if you don’t know where you stand or how you can respond. Creating clear boundaries prevents these misunderstandings and helps to reduce resentment by establishing your expectations early on so no one oversteps your limits later.
Provides Empowerment
Setting boundaries and sticking to them feels good! This is because you feel you have a sense of control when others respect your decisions. A feeling of empowerment can boost confidence and allows you to feel like you have a grip on your own life. These feelings are extremely important for those suffering from anxiety and depression symptoms that feel they have no work life balance. When their choices align with their values and needs it can be a huge leap on their road to recovery.
How does defining personal boundaries create work life balance?
Defining personal boundaries plays a crucial role in creating work-life balance. When you establish clear boundaries between your personal and professional lives you can effectively manage your time and energy to your benefit. This leads to a more harmonious and fulfilling existence that allows you to be your best and happiest self.
When setting boundaries to achieve work life balance you can effectively allocate time for work-related tasks and responsibilities without spending too much of your efforts in overtime. This allows you to create time for the personal activities, hobbies and relationships you enjoy outside of work. This separation helps prevent your work from encroaching on your personal time and vice versa. In turn, the balance between the two reduces the risk of burnout and promotes overall well-being.
Your overall wellbeing includes your physical wellbeing, your emotional wellbeing and your mental wellbeing. By knowing how to set boundaries you allow yourself to prioritize your own self-care and therefore maintain your physical, emotional and mental health. This is established by setting limits on the amount of work you take on and making time for yourself to rest, relax and rejuvenate yourself. In doing so, you enhance your productivity when you come back to your work while preventing exhaustion in the long term. You then ensure that you provide better performance in both your personal and professional domains.
Doing what is best for you!
In conclusion, setting boundaries is a personal matter. They should align with what you believe, what you value and what you are comfortable with. It is ok to test your boundaries to see if they are still right for you and, if not, then you can change them. The important thing is that you stick to your guns when you feel your boundaries are threatened by others. There is no shame in standing up for yourself even when it doesn’t go with everyone else’s flow. You are your own person at the end of the day!
